The words I keep inside

What do you do when you’re down but the blows still keep coming.

What do you do when you’ve given all you can but more is being asked of you. 

What do you do when your heart hurts but you have to smile. 

What do you do when it’s cold out but it’s even colder in. 

What do you do when your head is starting to talk louder than your heart. 

What do you reply to an “I miss you” from a person you don’t miss. 

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When Night Falls

I close my eyes with thoughts crashing in my head.  

A daily symphony and I’ve got front row seats. 

I turn onto my side, maybe a change in position could have a change in volume. 

I shouldn’t have rocked the boat. 

The flood surges and threatens to overwhelm.

Why did you make that decision?

Was it worth it?

Did you really think there could be better?

Do you even deserve better.

The blanket under my chin is getting tighter. 

I curl into a ball trying to escape the growing crescendo of questions in my head.

Squeeze my eyes shut against the looming darkness that surrounds.

Tomorrow will be better.

Tomorrow I can try again.

Squeeze my eyes shut and wait for the sun to rise. 

Untitled

Sometimes the day wins, life gets the better of you and leaves you feeling defeated. You want to crawl back into bed, go to sleep and try again tomorrow. You feel like you can’t win, life’s got you good and no matter how hard you try good things don’t seem to come your way. 

It’s ok. It’s ok to lose some days, it’s ok to feel crappy, it’s ok to want to hit restart. For the sun will rise, tomorrow you’ll get another chance to try again. And maybe, tomorrow will be better. 

Words best left Unsaid 

She feels lonely when she’s with you. She feels like she’s walking on thin ice whenever she’s around you, one wrong step and she’ll be in freezing waters. 

You’re moody and distant and she asks herself why, what has she said or done wrong this time. The words you say and the indifference in your voice cuts her deep but she doesn’t show it. She’s hurting but she doesn’t want to make it any worse than it already is. 

Raincheck after raincheck, because she knows you won’t like it. Now she’s distant from her friends; the life she once had. She retreated back in on herself because she wanted to try and make you happy. 

She tiptoes around conversations with you, not wanting to set you off. She wants to share with you her day but after filtering she realises there’s nothing much left to share. 

She feels lonely when she’s with you. But she hasn’t given up yet.